Awkward weirdo ^_^

peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

(via owls-in-the-tardis)

shannananan:

mercimonamie:

i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.

oh my god you managed to one up john green.

(via owls-in-the-tardis)

Batman is actually a Disney princess. Pass it on.

dark-forest-knight:

dirty-purple-suit:

“The LEAST you could do was find a decent picture … “

(Source: fromawarriordescended, via enchanting-road)

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

(via owls-in-the-tardis)

randomobsession:

littlewhitesnowowl:

sassygaydraco:

if i know what line a character is going to say in a movie then i will say it with them and no one can stop me

i will say it 30 seconds before them

(Source: lecterer, via owls-in-the-tardis)

• (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
• Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
• Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
• Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
• Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
• (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

lolsofunny:

So Zac Efron won People’s Choice Awards for ”Favourite Dramatic movie actor” 

and all I can think about is

(Source: nightlockandfoxes, via enchanting-road)

scvlptures:

depression is when you don’t really care about anything

anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is just like what

(via theoceanowl)